Introduce Your Clitoris to the Shower Head – May 2012
Yesterday I read in Glamour magazine the following sentence: “Take an extra five minutes in the shower and introduce your clitoris to the shower head” Taken at face value this seems to be sound recessionary advice: can’t afford a dildo? Haven’t got a boyfriend? Why not shove your showerhead in the direction of your chuff? A cheap (and clean) way to get off.
But then I thought – god someone actually wrote that sentence. Someone actually went to university, did a masters in journalism, got themselves in 20Ks worth of debt, did an internship or two and finally got a job as the editorial assistant on Look magazine before getting their current job at Glamour. They actually woke up, went to work and wrote that sentence. Fuck me – was it really worth it? If I’d done all that and spent that much money and someone told me to write some recessionary sex tips for a piece in next month’s issue I’d have told them to take a Rampant Rabbit, hammer nails into it, turn it to the highest setting and insert it into their anus.
I think it’s worse than that though. This I think counts for journalism. This is what women’s rights and liberation have come to in our main stream press in 2012. Is this what it was all about? Jesus fucking Christ, if it is we are all monumentally fucked. Please girls don’t ever buy this magazine; it really is no good for you.